What is all this?
Artless Appetizing is a mobile stick-fired smoker pit/specialty food purveyor lurking in and around the Green Mountains of Southern Vermont. The name of the game is to serve gobsmackingly excellent craft barbecue & intercultural delicacies spanning multiple timelines to my endearingly kooky mountain community. Keep your ear to the ground... coming soon
What makes you so special?
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Look, barbecue is hard so techbro assholes invented wifi-connected pellet-ovens that'll text you when it's time to post a picture of your terrible brisket. Here's how it is, sportsfans: a choked-out low-smoldering pile of pellets, wood chips or sawdust simply doesn't produce the full range of flavormaking chemical reactions that one can achieve with white-hot combustion like the roaring wood fire in this here offset cooker. And yeah, doing it without electricity, petrochemicals or automation is a pain in the ol' membrane but I have Nintendo & snacks - I'll be fine. Next time you choke down some loveless oven-baked fauxbecue elsewhere, consider also that they put that bloated-corpse smell in propane on purpose. I mean, you really want that wafting over your food all day? Gross. Upgrade from blue flame to blue smoke & taste the local kiln-dried maple & cherry. Look, I'd love to set a dial, press the button & take your money but I was raised by movies and TV and they gave me values. So, I'll be out here spritzin' n' shvitzin' all day & night so you don't have to because Mr. Rogers & The Fraggles were right about everything.
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If you learned it from a screen, are you really an expert? |